an office job?

I'm 3 weeks into my life as a post graduate. I anticipated the only thing that would change in my life was more work and less homework. But, there have been other unexpected adjustments. 

This past weekend Kristin had the flu. And now Tessa has the flu. So I am patiently waiting for it to attack me and put me out of work for a week. Which is unfortunate since I don't have health insurance and don't get paid for sick days.

Nannying full time has been quite an adjustment to make, for me and for the kids. It's a very inconsistent job as far as interacting with the kids. Two weeks ago was great. Claire told me I was the best babysitter ever and would only sit by me. We went to Quague for the weekend and I worked 50 hours but it was great because we went to the beach, had fun, and got along. 

But, last week I totally forgot the fridge repairman was coming, didn't make it home before he got there, and then spent the rest of the week waiting for him to show up, which he never did. Then the kids argued about a tag-hide-and-seek spy game that Drew made up. For two hours they planned the rules, secret agent names, and weapon distribution as I attempted to warn them that bedtime was nigh. Finally, after Drew kicked Hank for changing his mind about playing darts to decide who would be it first, I told her to go to her room which resulted in tears, screaming, and all out rage. I was completely unable to calm her down so called mom and dad who came home early (which has never happened to me, ever!) 

Sometimes I feel like part of the family and at others an irresponsible employee. It's hard not to take work home and feel like I didn't perform my job well, at all. I'm learning not to take it personally when the kids don't do what I say or challenge me, because children by nature test boundaries to feel safe. 

All this to say life after college has surprised me. I'm looking forward to Jo moving in for the summer, Kat visiting,  trips to Little Rock, New Haven, Kansas City, Florida, California (hopefully)) and a booze cruise this weekend. But I don't want to complain about my job. I'm learning and really do love it. But at times, an office job does seem less dramatic and quiet. 

Don't Give Up

Four years ago, I was determined to go to school in New York. I didn't want to stay in Arkansas and the busy city was beckoning me. As soon as I arrived here, I spent every semester trying to leave with reasons from long distance boyfriends to being closer to family. They're legitimate concerns, but what kept me here was the determination not to give up on a vision of what King's and New York were to me when I didn't know the reality of the stress and loneliness that would ensue. And now, with a plan to stay put for one more year, I can't bear leaving the city and the people I love behind. Let's face it, once you leave New York, you never come back (unless you're Kristin) 

I have all this nostalgia of the beginning of my life in New York because on Saturday, it came to an end. I graduated! My parents couldn't make it, but Katie, Elliott, Kristin, and Heath were there. And this week, I start as a full time nanny. It feels good to have a planner with only travel plans and lunch dates written down. No more homework. Only books clubs.

Our hoods were choking us. Not comfortable

Oh Darling when will you ever learn?
The grass is always greener,
Its everywhere you turn
You'll see it:
Everything you're sure of is up for change

-Land's End by Patrick Wolf

my job description

I taught Hank, Drew, and Claire how to booty bump last night. 

no news is good news

right?

the beginning is the end is the beginning

Where do I start. . .

1. Chicago was lovely. The weather was sunny and chilly. Lindsey and I ate tons of good food including chicago style pizza and hotdogs as well as macaroons. I love that a river flows through the middle of the city, that the streets are clean, and that it's less crowded than New York.

 

2. Dana and Seth came to visit the last week in March. We had too much fun, ate way too much food, and went to Jersey. It's always good to see the people you miss the most. New York is just not the same without them here.

3. I successfully attended my last Interregnum at the King's College. I'm closing in on less than a month of school left. And I'm swaying between giving up and fighting to finish my college career strong. 

4. I've quickly realized that just because it's almost summer doesn't mean I have 3 months of freedom before another semester. It means I have to work full time, find health insurance, study for the GRE, research where I want to go to grad school, pay my bills, and begin paying back my loans. I'm not complaining, it's just overwhelming considering I have double digits in my bank account right now. But soon, that will change. 

5. I have 3 trips planned for the summer so far: Kansas City for Heath and Tessa's wedding, Little Rock for Missy and Ryan's wedding, and New Haven for Conor O'berst. 

6. Today, I walked from school to the L train, just because the weather was so luscious.

7. I really need a haircut. 

8. I have a new obsession with oatmeal. Brown and Maple Sugar is my favorite. And it lowers your cholesterol. 

today is the greatest

So I haven't kept up with blogging like I'd hoped. I always think I'll use it as a sort of journal but my posts end up being few and far between. 

This week is my last spring break. It's weird to think back to spring break over the past three years. I remember where I was, who I was with, the music I listened to, and what I was doing. That's the best thing about holidays because without fail, I know exactly what I was doing a year ago and can see how far I've come (and how much farther I have to go). This year, I'm going to Chicago to visit my friend Lindsey. I'm excited to see and experience her life there, that I've heard about over the past four years. And when I get back, Dana and Seth will be visiting NY for a week! Yay! Seeing them always does my heart some good. 

Lately I've been collecting quotes. Here are two of my favorites:

"True beauty breaks your heart." -Dr. Kreeft

"Don't ruin love by wanting it too much." -Derrick Brown

So true and so good.